So, I’m sitting in business class on a flight coming home from seeing my daughter off at university. I have decided to treat myself and used my points to get me seated with leg-room galore. I don’t usually travel this way. This is a full-on treat which I allowed myself after the emotional upheaval of the last few days. Glorious. I am seated in 1F. I feel special. I got on the plane first. There is a fresh bottle of water sitting in the cup-holder beside me when I get on the plane, I have a very kind attendant asking my what kind of wine I’d like with my hot meal. But….
The meal I ordered comes with – I notice – ice-cold cutlery. The beef – I think it’s supposed to be bourguignon? – is mushy. Though my legs are out-stretched, the seat doesn’t have enough back support making me slightly uncomfortable. The person beside me is way too young to deserve travelling this way. I imagine she is very entitled which annoys me. The tray-table sits at a bit of a slant making it a bit awkward for me to type. Oh, and did I mention the service is slow? I still haven’t received a refill on my glass of wine for at least 10 minutes now.
I bet you’re thinking, “Is she for real?” And sadly for a few minutes I was - until I stop myself and step back to observe how the brain works. Here I am – in business class for heaven’s sake – treating myself, big time. Instead of focusing in on all that is right about this much-anticipated experience, my brain – with its bias towards all things negative – infuriatingly takes me down, down, down to dwell on all that is wrong.
Here’s the thing. We can choose to interrupt the cycle of automatic, unhelpful thoughts. That’s my reminder to myself. I can notice where my thoughts are taking me, and I can choose to swim to the surface and seek fresh, clean positive air rather than allowing myself to drown in the toxic sea of negativity.
So, in this very moment, I choose to switch to focus. Wow, what a view outside. Heading west over – my guess is Manitoba – stunning pink and orange sky ahead as the sun readies itself to go down. Wow, are my legs ever comfortable. This never happens when I fly as I am very tall and always feel cramped. Right now, they are fully extended in front of me – completely unobstructed! I could literally get on the floor and do some stretching there is so much room. Oh, my goodness – can you believe the lovely attendant – came to offer me that refill? I didn’t even have to give her a credit card. She is so polite. What a cool job she has which you can tell she enjoys. And did I mention how excited I am to get home? My husband is picking me up at the airport. How amazing it is to have a partner who loves me? And it’s a Friday, and we have the whole weekend in front of us. We should go hiking on Sunday. Wow, I love September – it’s always one of my most productive months. I have so many things I want to accomplish. I can’t wait to work on my workshop tomorrow. I have a bunch of ideas about how to make it better. Jeez I feel good. I am smiling now. And no, it’s not the wine.
Instead of focusing on all that is wrong – if we make a conscious commitment to create new thinking habits and see all that is right – we find the magic. We see the world differently; we see opportunity instead of obstacle; we find momentum instead of stasis; we unleash productivity and creativity instead of feeling stuck, overwhelmed and stressed. And on top of all that we feel a sense of well-being instead of anger, angst or dissatisfaction.
Imagine the implications of this kind of thinking in our lives, and in our work when we’re faced with real challenges (not like the pseudo-aggravations I was allowing myself to dwell on while sitting on this plane). Imagine as leaders how we drive better outcomes by supporting our teams by unleashing their creative potential to solve complex problems. What great ideas would be generated if we asked employees to see what is right about a particular situation? Finding what is wrong is so easy and automatic for us. Revealing the hidden opportunity is what takes brain power.
Help you/your team make this shift by starting with this simple question; “Instead of what is wrong about this situation, what can we uncover that may be right or beneficial about it?”