I had an incredible experience last summer with my two daughters where a critically important leadership lesson was reinforced. My girls and I went on a horseback riding retreat and spend 5 days learning about horses, caring for them and trail riding through gorgeous green fields and woods filled with Saskatoon berry bushes.
One of the most memorable moments was participating in a meditation with the horses we’d been working with during our stay. Our guide led us to a beautiful hollow where the herd naturally congregated. We let each of them off their leads and as the horses quietly stood in place, we were guided to connect with them by resting our hands on their soft coats starting just behind the shoulder – the location of their hearts. We then moved slowly around their bodies - breathing deeply all the while – gently stroking, what our guide described as, their chakra points or energy centres.
Now all this may seem very “woo woo” (it actually was … and it was very cool!), but it was also incredibly relaxing, and also an opportunity to see how my own state impacted that of the horses. What I noticed was that when I was totally present, connecting to what I was doing in the meditation and staying focused on the horse through these soft movements, then the horse – like magic – stayed almost completely still. And when I check-out of what I was doing – usually looking around to see how my daughters were doing with this exercise – my horse (his name was Strider by the way) almost instantly started to fidget and move around restlessly. This definitely says something about how sensitive horses are to what’s going on in their environment, but it also serves as good reminder to how sensitive we, humans, are to each other’s energy in everything we do, including interacting with others in the workplace.
Think about this example. You’re in the middle of a one-on-one with your manager when suddenly you become aware of the fact that she is simply not hearing you anymore. She has checked out of this moment with you and is focused on something else entirely. You don’t even need a physical cue like her picking up her smart phone to know – you can just feel. And when she disconnects, so do you.
Or, think of the last time you sat in a meeting room when the leader walked in, and you could literally feel the negative energy radiating off his body. This is before a word has even been uttered, or before you’ve had a chance to interpret his facial expression (is he about to explode at me, at someone else in the room, all of us? Is he ill? Are more layoffs coming?) Like my horse Strider did, you can feel this energy, and when it’s negative, or focused somewhere else, it brings you down, takes the wind right out of your sails and also possibly fills you with dread if the person is bringing particularly nasty vibes into your space as in this example.
Checking in with our energy – which is contagious – and taking accountability for the kind we’re sharing with those around us is a critical leadership practice. Whether we’re formal or informal leaders, we have the opportunity to choose the kind of energy we bring into a room when interacting with others. If we want to motivate, connect and ultimately drive innovation and productivity, grounding ourselves in the present moment with focused, positive attention will help get us there. Even when things go wrong, and we face difficult conversations or challenging situations, we can still check ourselves and collect ourselves before diving in and discharging distraction, agitation or negativity on everyone around us.
Sometimes this means we need to course correct and leave our crap at the door (or better yet practice letting it go altogether). By consciously choosing to share energy that lifts people up, we’ll be better positioned to deliver results instead of derailing moods and tanking engagement levels.
Before walking into a room or beginning a workplace conversation, check-in with yourself by asking:
What’s going on with my energy now?
What do I need to shift in order to bring productive rather than destructive energy into the room?